6 Things No One Tells You About Extended Breastfeeding

22 months… is that really even extended? I honestly couldn’t even tell you.

Did you know the World Health Organization (WHO) recommends breastfeeding until the age of 2? I never dreamed that I would nurse past a year. Before I had kids I thought breastfeeding was weird, and that I would find it awkward and uncomfortable. Yet here I am, having breastfed my own two children and pumped for my friends daughter.

I nursed Ellie until she was a year; I weaned her 5 days after her first birthday. I was pregnant and had major nursing aversion, she had started biting and I was feeling so touched out in general. She was still waking up multiple times a night (who am I kidding, has it ever ended?) and being pregnant in my first and early second trimester I just couldn’t handle it. I needed Colin to be able to take over some nighttime duties.

In the beginning we had had our struggles but it was never a terrible experience. It was awkward at first, especially since I had had no help or experience in the area. However it suddenly turned in to my goal to breastfeed until a year. I never really knew many people that had breastfed their children past a year so that’s what was normal for me.

I think whatever amount you can nurse is amazing, because sometimes breastfeeding is just really hard. And if you can’t at all… that’s fine too. I honestly never imagined that I would nurse past a year. I would see stories of toddlers still nursing and almost be weirded out. They can ask for it? Aren’t they a little old for it? I know, I know.. get with the times, Sam. But really, you don’t know what it’s like until you’ve been there! Now I can’t imagine anything else and I look back and see Ellie as such a baby still when she was weaned. It hurts my heart a little to look back on that.

Then I had Lydia. Nursing her sucked for the first month. She had a tongue and lip tie, but no one thought we needed to clip it because she was gaining weight so well. Her latch was so terrible that I had flattened nipples, they cracked and bled for almost a month straight, and it just wasn’t a fun experience. I had forgotten how hard it was to nurse a newborn!

My goal, again, was to make it to a year. Once I made it to a year it wasn’t even a question to me whether or not I would continue to nurse her, I just knew that I wanted her to be able to self wean. I may not feel that way it two months, but for now it is the plan.

1- It’s amazing. 

That bond is something else. When Lydia asks for milk she says “guk” and it’s actually pretty much my favourite thing ever. Ellie never got to the point of asking for it so when Lydia started signing for milk it made life so much easier. Now she asks for “guk” and I find it really adorable that she drags me to the rocking chair or the corner chair in the living room and pats the chair and asks for milk. So often she’ll see me sitting on the couch and put to the chair and say, “Mom. Chair, guk!”. It’s our spot, it’s our thing, and I love that. Sometimes it’s the quiet in my storm. It’s the one time of day that makes me sit down for 10 minutes and just focus on her. It also amazes me that she can just sense it, and it comes so naturally to both of us. We really struggled in the beginning and it took quite a few weeks to get a good nursing relationship established. Now when I go in to her room at night to settle her she just knows exactly what to do.

I also love our middle of the night feeds. She always nurses from both sides, then I ask for a big hug. She gives me a big squeeze and says, “Daydu mom” and reaches for her crib. I have a bond with her that I never got to have with Ellie and I adore it.

It’s our spot, it’s our thing, and I love that. Sometimes it’s the quiet in my storm. It’s the one time of day that makes me sit down for 10 minutes and just focus on her.

2- …except when it’s not.

Being interrupted while you’re sitting down for the first time in hours to try and eat to be asked for guk, not so amazing. Let me eat my own meal, kid! Also those middle of the night feeds? Not so cute when it’s the fourth one that night and she keeps going back and forth between sides without letting me go.

I’m also one to use a nursing cover for my own comfort. Yeah… that doesn’t work so well with an almost 2 year old. Try covering their head while they eat anything and it’s a bit of a gong show. If you haven’t seen it- just picture arms and legs flailing everywhere with high pitched screaming. I’ve just about given up trying to nurse in public these days.

3- It makes life easier.

Kid screaming because they’re hurt and want comfort? Give them a boob. Can’t get the kid to nap? Give them a boob. Want to sleep another hour in the morning? Bring them in to bed with you, roll over and give them a boob. So convenient! No one ever prepared me for when I was done nursing Ellie how hard it would be to soothe her when she was upset.

Nursing her to sleep is the best part of every day.

4- …except when it doesn’t.

Those flailing arms under covers? Bed sharing because they won’t sleep alone, but hate using a blanket so they kick it off everyone? They want “guk” in the middle of a church service and won’t stop screaming it until you give in? Yeah.. Definitely not making life easier there, kid.

I caught this little grin in a video. Little turkey.

5- They’re not actually biting you.

Why did nobody tell me this when I had Ellie? A child actively nursing can not bite you, they would bite their tongue. There are so many good techniques to get them from chomping down that are gentle and can be done lovingly to get the relationship back to where it needs to be. When Lydia started to “bite” me I would unlatch her because it usually meant she had a lazy latch and wasn’t actually sucking, switched sides and got her actively nursing again. She’s done it a few times lately because she thinks it’s funny but as soon as she sees I’m in pain she stops and kisses better (the heart on that kid, I tell ya!). One of the main reasons I was done nursing Ellie was that I thought she was biting me and I didn’t know how to stop it. I wish someone had just educated me.

6- You might really miss this stage of your life.

Do you follow me on Instagram yet? 

I know a lot of people who won’t/don’t and can’t wait to be done breastfeeding for good. However, I am going to cry when I’m done. Probably a lot. For a few days. I’m actually really serious… I have either been pregnant or nursing a baby since January of 2014. That’s over 4 years to this day. A huge chunk of my life has been dedicated to growing and nourishing my children, and it hurts my heart to think that that stage of my life will be over soon. I’ve come to realize that with age comes more freedom for me, and that part is really nice. But I also wonder what I’ll do when I’m done. Everything still revolves around it at this point. The bras I buy, the clothes I wear, how often I can be gone over night, who can watch the girls for bedtime. It will be a huge deal for me to be done and I’m going to miss it so incredibly much.

I never thought I would want pictures of myself breastfeeding my kids. When we had these pictures done I had it in my mind that I wouldn’t be doing it much longer, so I asked my photographer to snap a few pictures when we had to stop in the middle of our session. I never dreamed that I would be here still, almost a year later, going strong. I’m so glad I have these pictures.

Were you able to breastfeed? How long did you do it? Is there anything that surprised you or that you wish someone had told you about extended breastfeeding, or breastfeeding in general?